Pinky Swear!!!

From time to time I’ve had hardened criminals working at my pot sink and at other duties. I remember asking a one of them a question. Getting the answer from them. Then me telling them with a voice of authority, “Pinky Swear”. They replyed; Wut!!. I said; Ya heard me. Pinky Swear Bi+ch! The spider web covered, teary eye inked gentleman gleared a look back at me with sun furrowed face and eyes. Apparently in squinty stare down chef mode. I look dead pan right back at him.

A long Elevator music pause ensued as we looked at each other, minus the music. He tilted his head to the left, like a confused dog listening to everyone on that side of the planet. Then just before I wrenched a butt cheek I had been clenching, he roared with laughter. Casting out with great force from his lungs what could been his first cigarette smoked at the age of two. The Potwasher shaked, flailed and wheezed in another full breath of air just to bellow it out in thunderous laughter again. His Laughter sounded like a monk chanting deep, powerful resonating tones. Affecting in a postivetive mannor all things it came in contact with. Then, I laughed and said” whadda laughing at?”, as I passed by him with a wink and a chuckle. The End


Sweet Choice

Practicing my chef mind control at my favorite coffee house today. Happy coffee goers step up, pickup, and wrangle their chosen beverage’s packet of sweetness. I mentally scream at them; “Hot Sauce !!! Use the Hot Sauce!!! You know you want the hot sauce! Just do it!!, dooooo it ! I chuckle to myself being silly and spill some frozen hot chocolate. Right on my dangly toed, flip flopped foot. I’m sure somewhere in the world this a fertility sign of and a good omen, but I’m not feeling it just yet. No one has opted for the “Libation Revelation”. It’s hard to believe I know. I need to regroup and work on my chef super powers.

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Green things to come

(Marc sings in twangy monotone) These Plants were made for walking, and walking is what they’re gonna do. Mmmm, ok the can’t walk. Not yet anyway. Give monsanto and Nike time. They’ll deliver. One day you after your long long wait ,your dreams will come true. What you most needed will be realized. The Tomato Cross trainer will be here. The saying “You have a green thumb ” will turned on it’s head. They’ll use flashy marketing to win over the Organic Green hold outs. Ads like “Hey your feet smell like a yummy blue cheese salad, Wow!” or; “Hempa What?”

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