Marauding seafood strikes again


And just like that, a gang of marauding seafood forced me by Shrimp point to sit down quietly, and eat lunch. What could I do, ever get pricked by a shrimp tail dipped in hot chili oil? It tingles like the dickens, and paralysis has been known to happen in small seahorses (pinky swear).
Ok the Shrimp would have to be U/5 sized, and most likely fired from a rail gun to do any real harm, but lunch is the most important part of the day, so they say, after; breakfast, a breakfast snack, pre-lunch amuse bouche) closing with 1 or 2 IV’s of espresso for good measure.
Alright Alright I see the writing on the phone, First thing Monday I’m checking myself into Betty Crocker’s for help……after Breakfast, that is. 😉

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I publicly admit to a problem


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A Chefblog favorite
I publicly admit to a problem

It’s official. I am publicly admitting I have a problem. The problem is this; I can’t get enough of this stuff. I know what your thinking; Chef Marc”Just do funnels” right? No friends doing funnels is not the answer. First off theres the problem of the nose. . Ding ding ding you got it the nostrils. The nostrils are going to get the full brunt and Stingy power of whatever you’re doing in a funnelish way. Remember, The whole path of least resistance thing? That and the fact it just doesn’t look very dignified, The only person that I’m aware to date that can actually do a funnel in a graceful, debonair, if not in a metallic GQ kind of way would be ; “The Tin Man” from the wizard of Oz. Chances are though the Tin man would be more likely to be doing 40’s of WD, rather than internally rusting to a halt, from my some what obsessive citrus induced water preoccupation. Why do I like it so? It’s got a clean, crisp lemon flavor with a perfectly understated sweetness to it. If Sanpellegrino ever makes kegs of it’s fruit endowed sparkling libation I shall surely have a fortress made of it ( we’ve hide the names of the flavor to protect the fresh innocents of the other fab fruity flavors) . Tune in next week when we discuss the the virtues of wearing aluminum foil undergarments near microwave ovens (kidding)….;)

Blue Cheese Omen


I know it sounds crazy. I can’t think of a better reason to explain it away. If its true think of the ramifications. I think there may be good reason to suspect that I’m pregnant.

A Miracle? yes! and no!( I don’t know who the mother is.) Earlier tonight I could think of nothing else but of blue cheese. Talk about a craving .

Even at the store I could have sworn I heard the theme song to the movie “The Omen”was being played through the Muzack system.

You all know the song. The one with the crazy demon choir chanting up to a fever pitched orgasmic ghoul shrill. Have it scorched into your Psyche yet? Now picture me shopping in yonder mega mart with the same tune blasting away in my wittle bwain. My version went something like; get get get get blue cheese. Get get get get get it now” then the shrills start peaking with the refrain to the chant in Latin ;”Sangwichis No No No, Bringimus, Copious Blue Cheesemus Now Now Now” ( Which i was told loosely translated from Latin means,:”We drink your blood, we eat the blue cheese”). Yeah so I bought some blue cheese earlier tonight. Very tasty in deed. Ok Gotta go, think I just felt a kick. 😉 😉

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Poor Narwhal Never Saw It Coming


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Poor Narwhal Never Saw It Coming. Earlier today at ICMUT( institute of chubby mammals with unicorn thingies) a crazed man wearing a Panda jumpsuit ran passed security then leaped into the air executing a flawless “Triple Lindy” with a reverse “Howda Ya Do”, landing in a relaxed straddle position on the unassuming Narwhal sunbathing. When asked way he didn’t stop the man the security guard said: “I didn’t think Pandas could run that fast without wobbling and turfing it. ” After Years of counseling and harnessing the power of positive affirmation (“tea bags are my friend. They make yummy drinks”) Narley as his friends would call him, was seen recently happily working at a Churrascaria in NYC. Seemingly happy and well adjusted from the ordeal from years past. Words to steer away from though to avoid twitching and other flailing about when conversing with Narley are: straddle, cattle, rattle, and for some reason Fennel. ( idk lol). Picture from: http://lisanelsonnd.com/Per2/Arctic%20Animals/narwhal.html

To Can Or Not To Freeze? That Is The Question.


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I was asked the other day a question from a friend about whether she should can her fresh tomatoes that she grew herself or freeze them. There are a number of ways to look at this. If your going to use the tomatoes/sauce in relatively short time, like a matter of weeks. then I would put the big freeze on them( double bag em for their protection ). If you’re going to be zip zappin it around the globe for a matter of months, then I would choose to can them.
Canning sweet ripe tomatoes is a great way to preserve your gardening efforts, in a smack your self silly I can’t believe how delicious this is” kinda way. Freezing freshly harvested yummables is awesome for people who will use those items pretty quickly. Non-commercial, home owner types of freezers tend to have temperatures that can be sporadic at times.
Maintaining a consistent freezer temperature goes a big way when keeping food in good shape over time . Freezers that are continually being opened and closed all day by kids nomadic nosher’s will increase the likely hood of ice crystals to start to form. Sadly turning your fresh firm veg/fruit into a huge Mushapalooza when thawed for use. With the final curtain call being a everyone on stage jam session of funky flavors and not so great culinary memories .

An Angel Brings Dessert


Just then an angel descended from Heaven and said; What good and fortuitous times. I bring unto the flat earth the most enchanted of delights. I bring you, Ice Cream!!
A hand in the back goes up. “Excuse me Mr. Angel?” Angel spoke;” Yes son of Jerry, cousin to Ben?” Jerry takes a deep breath and sighs then says; We already have ice cream. Angel says; “Oh, My Bad! Then asks; Sprinkles ? Jerry; “mmm got em”. Angel muttered; “Aww Man!!” and walked away still muttering.

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FootballStock public announcement made in Sixties?


History repeats its self people, so heads up and learn from this Public announcement that was made in the sixties (possibly, maybe). Actually dialog from the first FootballStock;   
     “To get back to the warning that I received. You may take it with however many scoops of salsa that you wish. That the brown salsa that is circulating around us isn’t too good. It is suggested that you stay away from that. Of course it’s your own tailgate trip. So be my guest, but please be advised that there is a warning on that one, ok?” If any is needing help or is having a bad scene opening up Tostitos bags or getting startled by aggressive examples of facepaint please go to the “Snack Freak out/Startled Tents setup around the venue. Thank You and enjoy the game.