Stop foodiecism ‘fu’d:e:sis:um


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foodieist ‘fu’d:e:isit foodiecism ‘fu’d:e:sis:um
noun
a person who believes that a particular food is superior to another. She was fearful of being called a foodieist. 
adjective
having or display beliefs that single out a particular food as being superior to another: we are investigating objections about foodieist belligerents at a culinary magazine. ©Marc Lamash 2014

You Know The Buffet Is Going To Be Good When;


You Know The Buffet Is Going To Be Good When;

You know the Chinese buffet is gonna be good when your table number is written with a fine tipped Sharpie. The masking tape marked with the undisputed champ of food quality monikers “A1”. It could also be considered my temporary house arrest ID, Until my debt/check is paid. In my case it was an omen of things to come. It reminded me of the Book “The Black pearl” where the emaciatedly poor farmer shouts to the heavens; “Bad Rice, Bad Rice!” In hopes of faking out the wheelers and dealers of Human fate. To grant this lowly farmer a good crop and a chance to live another year.
In my head I did the same and mentally screamed; “Bad Food Bad Food!”. The Culinary Gods this time would not hear my plea and would not invoke any Yum Yum Mojo upon my plate of food. Instead they would clean out the celestial fridge on high. Letting loose from deepest freon induced slumber a hoard of off tasting, bad smelling unworldly things. Things best left to have been casted out and banished to the underworld or, at the very least composted, 😉

The Magic Rain Chairs


Starbucks on Astor Pl. Roof is leaking. The only two free seats that happen to be postioned under a major leak have had many takers. Alas no one has been able to tame the bewitched Rain chairs(or move them anywhere else). Beverage laden tourists walk up to the chairs, setup shop. Making a temporary beverage shelter for them and their clan.They make it their own by splaying out carefully all the newly garnered Starbucks provisions. Giving a visual sign to all, “this space is taken. Keep to the coffee trail, Keep moving.” all the others that paid their dues at the Rain Chairs now somberly stare at the ground in unifying silence while the unassuming coffee gazelle’s hunches are ripped out from under them.

Life’s brutal lessons continue like they have for countless coffee millennia (in coffee years about 4 hours). Next life altering challenge; Get on line and wait for the restroom. Open the door to the restroom without touching the door. Pay homage to the ceramic shrine, using as many of the rooms vast amenities( minus the nicly tagged baby station) as possible. Without putting down my shetland pony sized Kmart bag (can be done). Wish me luck.

Go Yeast Young Man (making pizza with homemade yeast)


I wanted to make my daughter a slammin pizza today by using gleefully ripe Plum tomatoes from our own garden. After close inspection of all food, spices and other worldly cooking stuffs worthy of pizzadom, I realized to my dismay I didn’t have yeast for “Operation Make-a-da- Pizza”. I thought; “Do you really want to go out to the megamart for yeast?” I decided to see if I’ve got the grapes for the job. and headed outside to pick a bowls worth of grapes growing on our property. I had hopes of making enough yeast with the grapes to make a killer pizza. First thing done with the grapes was to make sure they weren’t any nasty bits or fruit sporting any kind of hidden bug co-ops, lurking in with the other grapes . Grapes were then put into a stainless steel bowl with about three cups of 107 degree filtered water. A pinch of sugar was added as an insurance and snack for the beautiful little beasties to partake of . After that he whole lot was gracefully placed atop of my modified/pimped cup warmer that I enjoy using for keeping my tea nice and warm as I do super duper important stuff around the house. I put enough Insulation around the heating plate to allow just enough surface area to touch the bowl and keep it warm but not too warm. You want it to be warm enough to let the yeast love fest to Begin the Beguine, but not too much. If the water is too hot the yeast will stop growing and could very well take that big trip the leavening here-after. Depending on where you get you information it’s generally believed that over a 120 degrees will cause your yeast to play dead for real.

I think body temperature to about 110 degrees fahrenheit is a good place to be on the yeast love boat.
I’ll let you know how it goes.