If they could prove (if) that all plant life used for our for food felt pain or suffered when harvested/processed would it affect your dietary choices and how? The question isn’t meant to insight any hateful of emotionally visceral response. I know how I feel about it. As a chef I would like to know what you think and how you feel about about it. Remember this is not fact. It’s a question about if it would impact us profoundly or change in anyway eating choices and dietary lifestyles. Please share, Don’t scare.
From time to time I’ve had hardened criminals working at my pot sink and at other duties. I remember asking a one of them a question. Getting the answer from them. Then me telling them with a voice of authority, “Pinky Swear”. They replyed; Wut!!. I said; Ya heard me. Pinky Swear Bi+ch! The spider web covered, teary eye inked gentleman gleared a look back at me with sun furrowed face and eyes. Apparently in squinty stare down chef mode. I look dead pan right back at him.
A long Elevator music pause ensued as we looked at each other, minus the music. He tilted his head to the left, like a confused dog listening to everyone on that side of the planet. Then just before I wrenched a butt cheek I had been clenching, he roared with laughter. Casting out with great force from his lungs what could been his first cigarette smoked at the age of two. The Potwasher shaked, flailed and wheezed in another full breath of air just to bellow it out in thunderous laughter again. His Laughter sounded like a monk chanting deep, powerful resonating tones. Affecting in a postivetive mannor all things it came in contact with. Then, I laughed and said” whadda laughing at?”, as I passed by him with a wink and a chuckle. The End
For Those About To Can We Salute You!
For those who would like to can, read on and check the link.
Wasting food or throwing out just because we have too much to store in our refrigerators limited space isn’t a good enough excuse anymore. We live in times where the words Abundance and Plenty could easily change to words like Starving, or Hungry. Until the day when Apple rolls out iPreserver or Sony knocks the baby booties of the Cannerbot 2000 we may want to think about maybe getting back to something that people did in a big way years ago, like canning/preserving food It’s lo-tech but its still sexy Baby. It’s canning your own leftovers, your bumper crop of veggies, or even the two tons of chili you and your local firehouse/book club pal’s made. It doesn’t really matter what is for the most part. If you can put it in your mouth and eat it chances are good you can preserve it by canning. Even if you can’t operated the remote to your mega-tainment center, you can still can food. It is that simple friends.
I would suggest that you make it into an event. Invite your favorite foodie friends/family members over and cook up a storm. What ever you love. Try it. If you don’t like try again with something else. You have nothing to lose. you would have thrown out something anyway.
Think about this; You can save mounds of money doing it and have crazy good food to eat anytime you want for up to two years. You could think about in another way. If you don’t at lest try, and something tragic happens to your home town like it did Japan and other places where humans have the habit of eating food, what are going to tell your almost lifeless kid or mom? Sorry I didn’t have the couple of hours a week to invest in your life, I was farming online/I was getting chips and beer for the game etc. Your life is more than a direct deposit and a magnetic swipe. Take ownership of it.
Practicing my chef mind control at my favorite coffee house today. Happy coffee goers step up, pickup, and wrangle their chosen beverage’s packet of sweetness. I mentally scream at them; “Hot Sauce !!! Use the Hot Sauce!!! You know you want the hot sauce! Just do it!!, dooooo it ! I chuckle to myself being silly and spill some frozen hot chocolate. Right on my dangly toed, flip flopped foot. I’m sure somewhere in the world this a fertility sign of and a good omen, but I’m not feeling it just yet. No one has opted for the “Libation Revelation”. It’s hard to believe I know. I need to regroup and work on my chef super powers.
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Late lunch. A very quick variation of a pasta carbonara. Rendered minced pancetta. Chopped broccoli. Reggiano parmigiano, little cream. Lots of fresh ground black pepper, and done. Tie some string around your brain pan, because your gonna lose your mind. It’s tasty easy.
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I had a nightmare about sushi last night. It involved a Ginger wasabi monster. The creature thought it was necessary to chase me down 10th street in the “The Village”, throwing kung-fo stars of sharpened soy sauce packets (idk how monster boy sharpened them its a dream lol). I was only able to get away by hurling open packets of amazing fresh smelling, pre-moistened wipes at it. It herkt and jerked and throughly disliked them to death. As it withered the beast screamed its death cry of (in japanese mind you); “Aww Fudge!!”. Which is a big deal in Japanese food monster circles, because they really don’t have a big sweet tooth. Sure they have big teeth thats not even disputable. Sure they could rip the ass out of passing bullet train or bus. All I’m saying is that when they come knocking on your door to go springy springy on your mortal coil they won’t be doing it licking a lolly. They just don’t roll like that. I woke in a sweat from this bad bad dream, hungry for sushi baby. Bring it monster!
Canning Soup and Sauces and Needing Sleep.
Canning very late at night. and everyone is sleeping. I’m cleaning and sanitizing jars for canning. I’m tired and a bit goofier then usual, but happy about my endeavors. Doesn’t the term canning sound a bit off? Weren’t there jars before there were cans? Shouldn’t we call it jarring and not canning? Why is Jarring connected to a definition having nothing to do with putting something into something else?
Jarring example; While at the theme park, the lady in the bumper car next to me does a crazy Ivan, steering erratically into the wall. Causing her to exclaim before her head trauma kicked in, rendering her a slumped lump in the bottom of the bumper car; ” My that was quite Jarring!” I think (no he doesn’t) we should retake the word jarring and return to its proper glory of representing the art of preserving foods in glass jars. Sure there will be a vacuum left behind from the repurposing of the word, but hey there are plenty of other words not pulling their weight. I’m sorry thats just the way it is. Words like “traumatic” are just going to have to suck it up and fill the linguistic void. No free rides people. We live in a new world where words, numbers and sheep are going to have to learn new skill sets, being used in other areas of daily life. I know what your thinking. Chef Marc what other jobs can these workers fill? I say this; mine!! I need a vacation bad! To anywhere! Someone for the love of cheese send vast amounts of money. So the words, numbers, sheep and me can get some over due rest and relaxation. Just the other day I caught the sheep making a shank out of a sweater, while staring menacingly at the Numbers(who is running numbers). Words has developed a stutter and is now in a 90 day self help program in communications. Have pity, send piles of cash asap. lol